The thing is I know this girl. And I didn't like her. I say "didn't" instead of "don't" because our paths crossed years ago and I haven't thought about her at all since. So the moment I figured out it was her, all these hateful feelings came rushing back. I was ready to read all the posts and judge every one.
But then, every post was simply heartbreakingly honest. It was about her struggles with things I won't ever understand. How she's trying to get better and just be better to herself. How she's just trying to survive and carve a little place for herself in this crazy world. Guys. My heart just broke. I felt like rushing over to her and just giving her a hug. And a loooot of wine.
What was amazing is how God came and took the hurt and anger I had away in an instant. How He replaced all of that with compassion and love and grace.
I hope and pray that God will bless me with a compassionate heart. One that sees past the ways of the world and just focuses on the good. Wouldn't that be lovely? To be able to put your own insecurities and anger aside and just love people for who they are.
This past weekend we went to a women's conference in Stellenbosch, Awaken. It was so beautiful. Whenever I'm at God-filled conference, I keep my pen in my hands and just doodle or let the words flow over me. After looking over my notes, a few jumped out.
Life isn't easy. You're gonna have to put on your big girl panties and fight with everything you have. Know yourself, know your weaknesses and surround yourself with people that love you and cherish you. Don't let emotions run wild with you (especially if you're like me and can go from happy to sad to furious in two seconds).Know that you are beautiful, not because of your face or your body, but because you were created by a loving, perfect God. Stand up. Let your voice be heard. When you struggle call upon your angels, you don't have to do this alone. Stop hiding behind pain,excuses and insecurities. Take responsibility for your own shit and live your life!
Just don't hide anymore because you're afraid, okay? Okay!